Turning Point

I have been dealing with a couple of personal issues that strayed me away from blogging because it was sooo personal to me that I was afraid to write about it............ at least initially. I had to come to realization that I am human and my feelings do matter. Besides, I am sure someone could possibly be experiencing some of what I am experiencing so maybe they can relate to what I am going through.

1.  Having a miscarriage or losing a child is a hurt, a pain that I can't put into words. It's been three years since I lost my 2nd child. Some days I can talk about it. Some days I can't talk about it without having a mental breakdown. I've cried a lot about it this month. I didn't realize that this month was pregnancy/child loss month and once I did..... just been up and down about it. If you are dealing with the loss of a pregnancy or a child, I am here to tell you that can't nobody tell you how you are suppose to feel and can't nobody tell you when you should stop crying about it; hurting about it. Some days you can talk about it. Some days you won't. Just know that it's okay. There's nothing wrong with how you feel. Someone had to tell me that so I am sure someone else needs to know it as well.

2.  I recently got my daughter tested with the state of North Carolina to see where she is standing with her academic levels. According to the results, my daughter is only comprehending what she is reading on a late 4th grade level and is operating math equations on a 5th. grade level. This news was very disappointing because more than anything it showed me that my daughter was passed to the 6th grade but she had not mastered or was even proficient in the areas she needed to be in to go on to the next grade level. It makes more sense to me now why she struggled so much in the 6th grade and acted out so much. The beauty about the position that I am in now with my daughter is that since I am homeschooling her, I can go back and drill those areas thoroughly that needs mastering so going forward she will not be left behind.

I would highly suggest every parent have their children tested to see where they really stand. I doubt very serious that I will trust what the public school system tells me and the decisions they make when it comes to my daughter. The children are not the winners when they are passed along but didn't learn what they needed to learn.